Large Couture Red Flower Headband

...and a post about cigarettes.

If you know me personally chances are that you know me with a cigarette. One unabashed cigarette and yours truly. The worst kind of smoker really. The kind that thinks you're missing out. The sound of burning paper and the feeling of complete calm. One second of glorious satisfaction. So, naturally,  I did that as much as possible. (also because of my complete physical and mental addiction.)

I made myself one promise throughout my smoking career and that was that I wouldn't smoke in my wedding dress. How tragic, right? Wrong. Broke the promise. Got this shot. And really I should have quit as soon as I had this hanging on my wall...since smoking had never or would never look as cool again.

 

photography by SOTA Dzine

It has been sixteen days without a cigarette. The longest I have ever not smoked in thirteen years. Not a patch. Not a piece of gum. Not one puff. It went a little something like this:

11pm - Driving in car. One cigarette left. Dont feel like stopping at gas station.
11:06pm - Dont stop at gas station
11:06 - 11:19pm - Internal monologue about whether or not I should smoke the last cig now or the next day.  (now that is an effing tragedy)
11: 20pm - Realizing I don't want to think about smoking ever again.
The end.

Everyone knows cigarettes are bad for you. Bla bla. But in my blissful ignorance and in my fleeting seconds of gratification, I didnt have to think about it. It isnt until now that I realize how diabolical and truly wicked manufactured cigarettes are. I have spent the last sixteen days doing nothing but thinking about them. Think about the unhealthiest relationship of your life. Multiply that by a hundred. Fits of rage, nonsensical bursts of tears, my body still doesnt know whether to go run in a field or lay down and die. Not to mention a whooollle lotta this face:

photography by: Leah Miller  .  makeup by: Maureen Flynn

So kids, the moral of the story is: Don't buy cigarettes. Unfortunately, smoking stopped being cool when Audrey Hepburn started smoking her third pack a day. Your Aunt Jas tried to bring it back for you..but meh. I'll bring hats back instead.

Speaking of which, click on any of the photos for the listing of the red headpiece. I promise I wont buy cigs with my hat money anymo'! <3>

Love and deep breathing, 

Jasika